Not many find the Leisure to Live
Let alone the pleasure to love
Many will cease to see, yet never seeing a Dove
Never receiving a chance to Give.
Before you, I was apart of that Many
Apart of the crowd living yet not
Breathing yet never fully feeling
Seeking but given up through never finding
Swimming yet left floating
Then YOU Came, washed instantly
My virgin eyes to this thing called love
Gave a beat to my dying vessel of a heart
And made my life in essence, an art.
Through You, a new life I met
A new complex I ignorantly embraced.
There's numerous infinite's existing in numbers
Like those between 0-1, 0-3, and 0-1million
Some greater, some not
But all fortunate, because in essence, they are an infinite.
However short lived our Infinite was,
It was an infinite.
It ended in experience, but like doves
It's memories & tales of moments lived soars on.
I'm comforted by the vision of a sparkling universe
I at all times saw, Everytime my eyes with yours met.
I'm moved by the instant goosebumps
When I imagine the heaven I felt
When your skin touched mine,
When your orgasmic smell flooded my being,
When your heart beat was the core to my groove
In short I find solace in the Life that was Lived
But no more.
You were alive, love
More so than a blossoming bud.
Through this, I too was alive, fully and freely
In a sense where breathing was effortless,
Smiling stemmed from my gut
And tears as much of a myth
As the venom of a vampires fang!
Oh how sweet an infinite that was
An infinite that's slowly fading
Vividly, painfully in a scorching & torturous manner
Replica of the fading of pains instant pang
Of when your death I first was made aware of!
PART 2
Like an Acid burn,
I was disappearing in blisters, scars,
Fumes, squeals and streaks of blood
When the reality of your death hit me,
Broke me, and shattered any ounce of life I had.
I longed for it all to be a nightmare
soon I'd be woken up from
I cried, cr i e d, c r i e d, I Cried
From the unbearable pain felt
When your orgasmic scent no longer met my nose,
When my eyes, even in blurred vision of tears
Never found yours,
When the iced surface of my skin
Forgot the heat of your touch and warmth of your caress.
I cried, and almost instantly I was tired
Tired of my body imagining an illusion of your comfort
Tired of my ears clinging onto
The muffled echo of your laughter
I loved every minute of Life with you,
Was comforted by the blissful memory that became you
But now exhausted by the torture of what was
No longer being what is.
Like a lost mannequin I wandered the soils of the earth
Immune to all things that once made me human
Confused by reminders of elements that once moulded me.
Numb, directionless, limping onwards I froze at a distraction.
I saw a figure that instantly brought chills down my spine
And hues of pastel Colour back into the world.
It was YOU!!!
Furiously I rubbed my eyes to
Gain diagnosis of either mental madness
Or my happily ever after.
Focused, I realized it was You, but not the You that was once mine.
A spitting replica, amazingly captured,
But drenched in all things sad, petty and pathetic!
I ran to you, on a quest of clarity,
But the You I embraced, was not the You that was once Mine.
Your Skin & touch burnt,
Your scent flooded all my senses with disgust
Your eyes a galaxy of sorrow!
As quickly as I ran to you
My body immediately ran away from you
Until my legs couldn't take me any further
And like jelly on the banks of a crystal pond I crumbled
Distracted again by a foreign reflection,
A Reflection I was to believe was mine
But it wasn't me.
I was captivated by this reflection,
A glistening reflection of me, but not the me I once knew.
My eyes were locked with those of my reflection
Almost miraculously, the hope and Life It, I, Resonated
Was addictive, and I was hooked!
This foreign world I thought I was lost in,
Found me and like magic it all came a live
I gazed ahead, and without rubbing my eyes
My vision focused on an exciting journey of self discovery!
At no point had I any interest in looking back
All things that floundered there, had nothing for me.
Then it hit me!
I no longer have time for What Was,
Only an Infinite of solely What Is and what will Become!
The rest remains undiscovered, it remains unwritten!
